THEORY OF MEDICAL PAGERS
LAW OF PAGING ORDERS
The more orders you write, more pages you will get. Vice versa is also true: The more pages you get, more orders you will give.
LAW OF SOCIAL PAGING
Number of pages you get are inversely proportional to your social skills.
LAW OF UNEXPECTED PAGING
The less you expect a pager to beep, more are the chances it will actually do so.
LAW OF DEMOLITION PAGING
No matter how hard you throw the pager on the ground, how many times you dip it in water, or put in fire, it will not stop serving pages.
LAW OF STATUS PAGING
The number of pagers on your belt are directly proportional to the confidence of patients in your treatment.
LAW OF GARBLED PAGE
More important the page is, more are the chances that it may show up garbled on your pager.
LAW OF FORGOTTEN PAGER
Your pager will get the most pages on the day you forget it at home.